mama said there’d be days like this…

there’d be days like this, my mama said….

I had a moment at Walmart today. Yes, I was in a Walmart before 7:30am this morning, and I’ll tell you something else….the only other people who are in Walmart that early are the employees, crazy morning people who like to get a jump on their discount shopping, and the cleaning crew. Those last people are important to the rest of the story. You see, I was in a hurry this morning, having forgotten the entire weekend that I had a major quarterly meeting this afternoon, and being on the associate recognition committee, I needed a kooky holiday headband to wear since I had so conveniently “misplaced” my elf costume from last year. So, there I was, scooting in and out of aisles in my ruffled platform boots, searching for that little piece of crazy to wear atop my unwashed bouffant of a hair-do (I’m just a hot mess, I tell ya), when I scooted around the corner with a little too much speed over by the garden section. Little did I know, one of the members of the cleaning crew was using his very efficient, but very large, floor washer to brighten up the tiles, leaving the walkways shiny, smooth, and fresh for the day ahead.

That’s when I bit it. Coming around the corner, I slipped on a cleaner-than-normal piece of tile, causing my feet to come out from underneath me and making me land straight on my butt. Well, in any situation when you feel your body losing control, you tend to reach out for things to steady you, right?

That’s when I “rearranged” the poinsettia display. Yup, realizing I was falling fast and hard (TWSS!), I reached out to grab whatever I could to keep me from biting the dust in front of the now freaked out cleaning man. However, the only items within grasp were rows of dark red, beautifully arranged poinsettia plants. So I grabbed them…and still fell….managing to rip out half of one of the poinsettia’s, as well as causing about four more plants to spill out over the shelf, spreading glitter and red flower petals all over the once clean floor. Sitting on the ground, my dress up around my waist, flower petals and pots strewn around me, I could only think of one thing to say to the man who now stood over me, a bewildered look of horror plastered on his face,

“Safe!”

He said nothing.

That’s when I picked myself up, dusted off my dress, grabbed the mangled poinsettia plant, and gingerly tiptoed away, grabbing the first headband I saw on the way out…because Heaven forbid I try to do any more shopping after my human bowling experience!

So that morning, with a bruised ego and an even more bruised butt, I walked out of Walmart at 7:45am with a headband, a “Charlie Brown” style poinsettia, and a head held high.

After all, it’s Walmart….there are worse things that have happened there. 🙂

hearts and hugs,

B.

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Comments

  1. I love this. I mean. I hate that you fell. But I love this post. For reals.

  2. I laughed out loud way too much while reading this. I could totally picture the entire ordeal. And yes, WAY worse things have happened there. And to you.

  3. How’s your bottom, B. boo?

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