how you doin?

Lately I’ve really been encouraged to build relationships with people. I’ve struggled with this for a while, always feeling like I’m initiating, like I have to be the one to drive the relationship. However, in the past year or so, people have come into my life and taken on some of that weight. I’ve been pursued by people, I’ve been asked about myself, and have been shown genuine curiosity in the answer that follows. I’ve been encouraged by others. I’ve been LOVED. With this newfound attention, it could be very easy to loosen the reigns, to let go of my role in the pursuing. However, I know (by experience) that relationships are a two-way street. You need to give love AND receive love.

 Everyone wants to feel wanted, to feel desired. It makes us happy, it drives us to be better, to love deeper. Sally Field’s facial expression spoke volumes when she exclaimed, ” You like me, you really like me!!” after accepting her Oscar in 1985. She was thrilled to know that people cared about what she was doing, who she was. The want to be desired is true in any type of relationship. It reminds me of how I’m cultivating my platonic relationships. Especially for singles, these relationships are very important. The people you develop friendships with are going to be people you do life with. What kind of people do you want involved in your life? And how do you want them involved in your life? If you desire to have someone ask about you, and inquire into your life, to pursue you, are you doing the same for them? Is the relationship driving on that two-way street, or are you pedalling alone?

 At some point, I actually had to tell specific people that I felt neglected by them, I needed more from them. This was hard, but it also forced me to look at other relationships to make sure I wasn’t neglecting anyone on MY part.

I tend to neglect people easily. I play the whole “well, if YOU don’t care, then I don’t care” card. It’s immature, and something I very much need to work on. Now, I’m not saying that I need to go around and constantly inquire into other’s lives, continuously surround myself with people. No, alone time is good, it’s nurturing to our souls. However, I DO need to be aware. I need to be aware of when friends are hurting, or when they are happy. I need to recognize when someone needs a hug or just simply needs some alone time of their own. I need to turn away from myself every once in a while and take a look at my surroundings.

It’s amazing what you see when you aren’t looking at yourself.

So, I pull down my Becca-esque sunglasses, glance over the rims, and implore into your lives….how are you??

how you doin??? 🙂

hearts and hugs,

B.

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Comments

  1. I’m so glad to be one of the new friendships that you have found this year. You are such a treasure, Becca.

  2. I know! Amy, you have been such a joy to get to know!! I’m excited to just see our friendship grow 🙂

  3. I’m good! I love you and miss you though. xo

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